Gather ye...er...Dandelions While Ye May...

M's new mission in life: Pick every single dandelion he sees...and put them into any available container (he is filling L's shoes while L is declaring he is too tired to play soccer)...



She likes to decorate...



Still workin...

Happy Cow and her flower pickin' brother...

I meant to post this last week, when I started this post.  Life intervened, as it usually does.  Tomorrow is already Friday again, I can't believe it.  I remember when I graduated from high school (all those years ago, sigh) and I remember thinking, "I can't believe it actually ended.  I can't believe I'm done with high school."  Time when you are younger seems to move at a slower pace.  Is it because we are all so impatient in our youth or because...we don't have as many responsibilities?  Now it seems like life flies by and it gets faster and faster with each year (and each child...or sets of children, as it was in our case)....now it's all I can do to grab onto a moment and hold onto it...really see it and experience it, before it slips past like all the others.

Wow!  This is not where I thought I was going with this post.  Not at all.  I asked F if he ever had moments of clarity/mortality.  I feel lucky when I can see life as it really is, so fleeting and beautiful...I have often thought over the last year or two, that children take over your identity so completely (especially if you are a mother who stays at home) that it suffocates you sometimes...and the self you had before your children fades into the background...sometimes you can't remember what she looked like before these kiddos ended up in your arms.  It's sometimes a beautiful feeling because you have dedicated yourself to the wee ones so much that your life isn't about you anymore...not even the tiniest little bit (as mine isn't mostly because we live away from family and F has a very demanding job...so the space I find for myself is maybe fifteen minutes int he  morning before L starts tromping around, two hours during the twins' nap time during which I do chores, cook dinner, and squeeze in a shower while watching Mad Men or some other show I love...and a couple hours at night when I can stay awake long enough to read)...it forces you to relinquish your inherent self-interest and some of the selfishness we are all born with.  Of course, at other times because the children and their needs are at the forefront and because I am, like a lot of military wives, parenting without a backup (and I don't even put myself in the category of the hardcore military wives who deal with back-to-back year-long deployments), motherhood can be threatening...in a way, it erases you...and that can feel good and bad (sometimes at the same time).
So...when I am talking about seeing life as it really is, I mean that often, I feel like my life has been co-opted by other, more demanding (slightly less articulate for the time being, though L is gaining on me fast) people...it feels like this will last forever because it has been so completely consuming for such a long time...and you forget that this time in your life as a mother will end.  Sure, you'll always be a mother, but you will not always be so vitally important, so critically responsible for your child(ren)'s every need, desire, hurt, etc.  This, too, shall pass (thanks, Grandma Ruth, for reminding me of that in the good and bad times). 
It's a funny thing to say, but I had that moment of clarity the other day when I was walking into Kroger's after the twins' toddler gymnastics.  Anna was holding on one hand, Mikey the other...they were both chattering away...and bam, it hit me like a ton of bricks:  This is my life.  I'd better pay attention.
I think most of us spend a lot of time when we are young wondering about the future, what we will become, what we will learn, or build...who we will marry, etc.  It always seems that life is about to happen.  And then, I don't know how it happens, but it becomes clear that what life really is concerns what is happening now, this moment.  Someday I hope to be a very old woman, looking back on everything, feeling proud that when I was 31, I slowed down once to savor the softness of my babies' hands in my palm, the trust and faith they have in my wisdom, the forgiveness they dole out so frequently and freely of my faults....I hope I will remember how important I was and let the weariness I have often (rightfully) felt fade in the background (but I hope I will remember that, too, so that I can comfort my kids when they feel it as they raise their own children)...I walked into Kroger and felt for a brief moment that life was complete...and that we were all whole, healthy, sane...it was wonderful, that moment...I needed it to retain some perspective...
Because you know, life crashed in on that feeling of awe and respect...the twins clobbered each other in a shopping cart/car as I tried to remember what was on the list I forgot at home...c'est la vie, as L would love to say (if he knew the phrase...the little Francophile)...