A Boy and His Shoes...

Swinging around...

So you can get a good look at the sparkles...

Singing a truck song...happy, happy...

So the other (very stressful morning) getting the kids out the door in time for school, I yelled to Mikey, "Get your shoes on PLEASE!"  And he came hopping and skipping up to me as I tried to wrestle sneakers onto L, shouting, "MAMA, I GOT MY NEW SHOES ON ALL BY MYSELF!!!"  And you guessed it, he'd found some shoes our friend gave to Anna (her daughter out-grew them, but they were still too big for A) and slipped those puppies on.  Yup.  If there was a dictionary entry written in our house at the time for the definition of "Proud," it would have had M's face in it, for sure.  You never saw a kid who felt happier or more amazed that he'd gotten those velcro straps fastened without any help.  And sparkles!  Oh, the sparkles!
Cue the uncomfortable feelings.  I mean, seriously, the dude was wearing his sister's (too-big) shoes!  And they were sparkly and shiny and definitely in no sense masculine.  So I wrestled a little bit.  I almost took them off him, but then I remembered two things: A. I let Anna wear his shoes all the time and think it is great that she doesn't always gravitate towards things that our society classifies as "girlie" (you know, pink, hearts, flowers, butterflies, sparkles...mary janes...not that I have anything against those things, I just don't like to force these gender stereotypes on her so much, even through the clothes she wears...okay, getting off the soapbox now) and, B. We were in a RUSH!..but then, you know...these were clearly girl shoes on my 3 year old boy.  I decided just to let him wear those shiny Mary Janes because he was so proud and perhaps even dudes need some sparkle and shine in their lives.  He is still young enough to be protected from people who'd make fun of him on the playground by me (and his sister and his brother), so I thought, they're just shoes.
I think I did the right thing...it's weird how these seemingly innocuous parenting decsions can be so fraught with emotion and politics.  Why couldn't he choose those shoes?  L did say as we were walking out the door, "Umm...why is Mikey wearing girl shoes??" in a voice that communicated clearly his disapproval (I've never called them that, so it's really funny that he would pick up on the strict differences between what girls are allowed to wear and what boys are supposed to wear)...so I told him, "Because he likes them.  And we don't make fun of people for that."  So there went M, hopping about excitedly and proudly in his sister's shoes (usually he can't wear anything she wears because his feet are like 4 sizes bigger)...I must admit that some of the kids at the park did a double take...and I'm not sure how thrilled F is that his son is allowed to wear girl shoes by his liberal mother...so I hid them in the trunk of the car for at least one day.  But if he wants to wear them again he probably will...the struggle is: do you let your kids follow their passions/tastes/opinions in these matters (or really any others) even though you know doing so will go against society and therefore open them up to the possibility of public ridicule or do you try to reign them into a more tolerable (by society's standards, which by the way, you may disagree with) direction so they don't get teased (but of course, doing so would send a clear message to them that they are not, in fact, free to choose whatever they want to wear...or be...or pretend to be)????  I got all of this out of shoes!
I say let them do what they want (as long as they aren't hurting anyone else or themselves or destroying stuff) and help them through the tough times it may bring.  I don't know...do you see why F says I think too much?